Adapting to Seasons: Extended Note

You.

Yes YOU. I see You.

Time feels like it is gradually moving by at a slow but steady pace and other times it feels like it's moving rapid and quickly without allowing yourself time to stop, gaze and catch your breath.

Your high standards, innovation and futuristic strengths often play a key role in where you see yourself in life, both in the present and future. Don’t be so hard on yourself in this moment.

You may often sit, look around and ask where your blessing is. Through all the challenges, growing pains, laughter & tears, you still wonder when your feeling of peace and breakthrough will present itself. 

The concept of patience for you, may be thoughts centered on your next career move, the yearning for stability in certain aspects of your life, developing a new craft or committing to change. Sometimes, it's not having all the answers when in fact you just wish you did. 

Even if it's one answer to push you in the right direction. 

From past experiences, you may have learned that rushing things with your own set agenda and lack of focus isn't always what's best but your optimism and positive spirit took everything as a "lesson learned. " So why is it different now? Maybe because you don't want to swim in a sea of regret or repeat the same mistakes you once made.

Word from the wise, allow yourself some compassion and grace while trying to figure this thing called "life" out. Don't feel pressured to have all the answers in a split moment or in the coming days.

Don't allow yourself to be a victim of self sabotage, celebrate YOUR JOY and the need to want to see your accomplishments come to fruition. Celebrate small wins and accomplishments.

There is value in reflecting on how far you've come. To see yourself and the growth you've made over the years is something within itself to celebrate. The habits you've broken, the relationships you've ended, the toxicity that you've wiped clean out of your life has helped you elevate to new heights, even if you don’t see it right away. That within itself deserves a celebration. 

We are bound to change our goals, dreams and aspirations and that is okay. You will continue to meet people who awaken a spark inside of you, let it flow abundantly. Someone may enter into your life and see you better than you see yourself in many positive ways, allow it to reveal itself.

Allow yourself to feel, self-process, reflect and even wonder but don't dwell on an intended timeline because some of the best destinations have the most beautiful, eye-opening, fun, often times confusing but worthwhile journey's with many captivating experiences along the way. 

To the person reading this extended note of affirmation,

I see you.

Because I needed this self-love note myself.

This is OUR note, OUR reminder:

We are worthy of rest and all good things coming our way. We are doing well. We are doing our best.

Releasing From My Grasp

While battling waves of sadness and re-visited grief in multiple days at a time, I find that’s where I can light my creative candle. It is during times of scattered thoughts, disbelief and echoes that I discover what I need to release desperately from my tight grasp.

“What am I being called to let go of?”

— WW (IG: @womanwriting)

Parts of myself are shedding.

I’m being called to let go of this negative thought attached to how I once viewed forgiveness. I’ve developed more intentional ways to connect with myself, forgiving Heather’s old self; realizing that the mistakes I’ve made in the past do not define me.

Digging beneath the surface, to the core, I am being called to let go of this fulfillment of being everything to everyone except myself. I have found myself giving to the point of empty, when my hands have been to the point of fragility unable to hold anything more. I’ve learned that all things break, including myself when I refuse to let go of this fear of asking for help.

The space between where I’ve been and where I’m going, I’m letting go of the fear of taking on other individuals projected thoughts and opinions about my personal journey. The path that I have chosen has revealed a courage, strength and overall resiliency within me that has been found through the depths of tears and faith.

Broken instruments still play beautiful melodies of perseverance.

My grasp has loosened and is ready to release the things no longer meant for me along this path that once worked during a time of abundance. I’ve looked in the mirror and affirmed myself that it is okay to change my mind, it is okay to want more and desire more. A beautiful human with a kind heart in my life reminded me that I deserve the life I want without qualifying statements.

So I am releasing the need of over explaining myself.

I am letting go of the explanations, pre-context and the fear of reaction to the decisions I choose to make for myself within this life.

As I journal and reflect of the thought of letting go, seasons changing, and the shift in my perspective, I can be grateful for the space of reflection and growth.

The aches in my & bones

Strains in my heartstrings being pulled

Salty tear ducts

Running endlessly through my night terrors

Is a strengthened version of myself reminding me that it is time to truly and indefinitely begin to

Release from my grasp and LET GO.

A Note to Self: You Deserve

Forgive yourself as many times as you need to.

Understand that the decisions you’ve made, the relationships you’ve cultivated and the time that you’ve spent working toward your purpose has value.

What harm can come from you moving toward a more meaningful and fulfilling life?

At times, the part of self that shows up for you is fearful, doubtful and can be second-guessing; that doesn’t mean that you aren’t capable of greatness.

But what about the part of self that is truly going after what you want in life? The part of self that is truly captivated by what sparks a flame and creative joy within you that says “I’ve got this!”

Everyone has purpose.

You have purpose.

You are doing the best you can with what you’ve got. You’ve used information that you had during a time in your life to make decisions to move toward what you wanted and saw alignment in.

“You deserve the life you want without qualifying statements”

— My Amazing Mentor, Ashlee Roberts

It’s okay if you change your mind. It is absolutely okay if your wants and needs change to fit the life you are seeking now.

You deserve rest. You deserve breaks. You deserve clarity. You deserve peace. You deserve love. You deserve space. You deserve kindness. You deserve JOY. You deserve healthy interactions. You deserve happiness. You deserve luxury. You deserve change. You deserve YOU.

Allow yourself to become more appreciative of the simple beauty within your life, beauty that is often overlooked due to this constant rapid moving in life; the constant need to be busy, productive. Reflect on how you view gratitude in your life in relation to relationships, meaningful relationships. Relationships that allow you to be authentically yourself.

Most importantly, allow yourself Grace.

Sincerely,

A note to self and anyone who needs it.

Twenty Seventeen: Stumbling Into Healing

I'm finishing 2017 with everything I have left. 

It's been a year of triumph, joy, challenges, blessings, clearer pathways, letting go, priority toward opportunities that matter and shedding of old ways that has caused blockage. I can say this has been one of the most introspective, challenging, rewarding, eye-opening, fulfilling and overbearing years. The greatest gift in which I can say I awarded myself this year has been turning my wounds into wisdom by wrapping up my self-written project, a collection of poetry, prose and letters; available early 2018. 

I made it through the holidays; a challenging time of half smiles, broken laughter, this overbearing feeling of almost cracking under pressure and overall trying to maintain healthy boundaries of self-care, focus and remembering the true meaning of the season. I struggled with the thought of being selfish and taking a solo trip or spending time with family through exhaustion, anxiety and self-disappointment. But I made it! 

I'm labeling this past year, MY YEAR of transition, change, journeying, development and birthing. 

“Healing doesn’t come with warning labels. You aren’t notified ahead of time that the feeling of letting go hurts more than the pain itself.”

— Heather J. Macon

This year, I felt as though I had been knocked on my rear a few times with no one to help or hear me; within that, I also learned that I silence myself and I don't share. With a yearning for those to "check on your strong friend," what good does it do when you aren't honest with yourself or the ones checking in? Due to relocation, burn out and trying to adjust to new living spaces I felt as though I missed out on engagements, births, meet-ups and life of those who mattered most. I had my own celebrations and accomplishments; but I was hard on myself for not showing up and being available to those who mattered most. Self-forgiveness was an essential component to this year. 

I learned that letting go of what no longer serves you is an essential part of growth and self-care. This year, I've let go of jobs, writing assignments, relationships, one-sided friendships and even some poor habits that weren't allowing me to reach new heights both physically and mentally. This year, reflecting on wisdom, I began to truly understand that elevation does require isolation; it has helped me soar through the feeling of "loneliness." Through letting go, I gained clarity, peace, new challenges and a stronger appreciation of me. 

Showing up for myself served a new meaning when I truly began to reflect on my strength, courage and overall knowledge gained through what I thought I was punishment! The growth I've accomplished as a woman; I've learned how to protect my own well-being a bit more, decide what's best for me on the first try and embrace my willingness to be open-minded. 

With everything I endured this past year, negative, positive, elevating, liberating and tear-wrenching; I paid more attention to my mental health, began to put me first; practicing self-care more than ever. I embraced healthy conversations and said YES to therapy. I began to realize that being my biggest advocate, supporter and giver was beginning to be a bit over-bearing and that there were others willing to help - reaching out more is a goal of mine I'm working on.  

As time passes, you will rekindle relationships that deserve to be nourished and some that no longer serve a purpose to you and your being; a lesson that I've learned within that is someone can make you feel rejuvenated, happy, hopeful and you'll express gratitude far more than ever while some relationships can be draining, suck you bone dry and leave you feeling less than purposeful. I'm grateful for the feeling of both accomplishment and struggle. 

“Patience seems like an enemy during a time of healing, but I’m willing to mend a friendship with the virtue itself ...”

— Heather J. Macon (Virtue)

With 2018 approaching, I am no longer apologizing for self-advocacy and my ability to do great things; my name is laced with purpose and it's time that I start living in my truth with full intention. My mind, body, soul and spirit along with my financial, mental and physical well-being is what I am prioritizing. 

The consistencies in this life are blessings! 

Thank you, 

Heather J. Macon