Deeply thinking about how I give and receive love.

I love all things romance.

I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in right person, wrong timing? Maybe? Or the value in experiencing someone during a particular chapter in one’s story? I’ve recently watched some amazing Black love stories that have supported my thoughts in this sentiment which I go back & forth with (next blog post).

I love, love.

I simply love romance. Within any experience, whether it’s self-love, intimate, platonic. I enjoy cultivating a connection of care, appreciation and vulnerability. Experiencing honesty, sharing warm linens with someone the morning after, legs connected at the thighs. Can you tell you I love deep-descriptive engagements? Poetry? Notable mention, a shared space of silence between myself and another is deeply appreciated. I love novels, fine champagne, classic Black silk robes, jazz music, Pinot Noir, French cuisine, fresh bouquets of red roses, Black love.

I enjoy intimacy, self-luxurious activities. I enjoy experiences. I enjoy kind and gentle partners.

I enjoy sex.

I’m currently enjoying and embracing my single journey. My deepest love during this time is for my creative art. My characters develop each day. I find comfort in beginning new freshly blank journals. I can honestly say, I catch flights often and occasionally catch feelings, both can exist LOL. I’m in a space of maturity and self-awareness to engage in casual sex with shared communication of healthy boundaries established up front. I absolutely love things that make me feel both present and alive.

All these things can be true, be present, and have my desired love languages involved; in both receiving and giving.

For Self-Love

I absolutely love spending time with myself. My top love language for self-love is Quality Time, through and through. I drown myself in ways I find luxurious, beautiful pleasuring. I take myself on some of the best dates if I must say so myself. My time is spent intentionally doing activities that I find enjoyable escaping whatever reality may be true to enjoy the moment. Grasping onto moments where I can stay present, enjoying myself and loving on myself gently.

One of my favorite ways to spend time with myself is taking myself to dinner and a movie. I usually begin each week with a brand new beautiful bouquet of flowers, intentional journaling time (Sunday Love Notes), and my selected day of the week where I will plan my date night. Depending on the week (and budget) I’ll plan multiple activities. I never regret spending time with myself and giving myself what I want and need. I don’t deny myself the pleasure I need, that’s in any aspect or form. I appreciate well thought out intentionally time with myself.

For Receiving Love

Being a writer I am in love with thoughtful word exchange. Words of Affirmation is my language in receiving love, which can be shown in many forms for me. I am truly appreciative of a written word exchange and melt at verbal word exchange. Receiving a written note, a card in the mail or even a post-it note left in one of the many places I’d find it. Can you tell I’ve done this before?

This love language for sure is best appreciated with action, but knowing that I am appreciated and can indulge in a conversation about that appreciation does something for me. I am still one who appreciates written letters full of expression.

My friends STILL receive letters and cards from me outside of special occasions.

For Giving Love

You express to me what you may need? You’re vulnerable enough to share what would be most helpful during a difficult time? If I’m a guest in your home or invited to any family outing, I often struggle with being “just a guest.” I give love in Acts of Service. I pride myself in being a great listener, strong communicator and one who is willing to adjust and correct where needed, but with listening I also honor the ways in which I can make someone else’s journey lighter.

Acts of Service is something I truly value in my friendships and relationships. In expression, and on the receiving end. Being an educator, I’ve always valued my communicative relationships with others and being in service.

Sharing any space with anyone I’m always focusing on multiple aspects of peace, appreciation and service.

Reflective Spaces

When taking the love languages quiz, I deeply reflect on the statements and apply them to where I am currently. The fact that they have one for singles was helpful, Lol. I think my languages have definitely changed over time based on experiences, reflections and most certainly discomfort during the pandemic, career change and change of focus in various areas.

I’m deeply flawed.

I’ve experienced many environments, relationships and ever-changing friendships that have allowed my way of thinking and expectations of reciprocity to shift.

The love I have for myself within continuously grows stronger as the days pass. Therapy has aided in a healthy way to shaping my views of self-love.

Current Reads:

Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

While We Were Dating by Jasmine Guillory

Pussy Prayers by Black Girl Bliss

Until next time.

Heather.